Shayla's blog

When the flow becomes rocky....

I  stepped out of the warm, nurturing shower into shivering cold air this morning.

Now you may be asking yourself, where is she going with this today?

It’s pretty simple, sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we are doing that we feel all tingly and warm from the sheer joy of what we are creating. Then we suddenly get hit in the face with the cold hard reality that perhaps we’ve not been doing what we thought we were.

One of the portents of manifestation is that you cannot have an expectation of outcome. You can put your desire out there but the when/why/how of its fulfillment is not yours to determine. If you are trying to lay down the path step-by-step, you are not manifesting – you are planning.

Now it’s really, REALLY hard to not be human and think that if you do this, this and this then “x” result will occur. It’s really hard to just go with it and be in the flow because we as humans are conditioned to control our environments, emotions and relationships. We are taught to play the game as children and continue to escalate into adulthood. If we act a certain way then this will happen.

To a degree right now you are being conditioned to think that if you simply move forward in joy that things will happen for you.  That according to all the self-help gurus, being in the flow is the be all and end all. And if you don’t shift, you will be destroyed in the year 2012 because you won’t be part of the “new order”.

Have you ever jumped into a river in the middle of the rapids? Well that can happen to you when you’re getting into the flow. You can actually decide that you’re changing your vibration right now and you’re into it 100%, no baby steps for you! Suddenly you’ve thrown your world into chaos. You’ve changed your energy and everyone around you has to now either go their separate way due to a vibrational mismatch or shift with you. Some people aren’t ready for either of those steps. Some people are going to resist. Some people are going to become very angry because they don’t understand what you’re doing or why you’re doing it. This energy that they and you are putting forth causes a tidal wave of emotion which has its own energetic pattern. It literally causes the destruction of many things that we’ve come to count on as those things that aren’t in our pattern are ripped from our arms.

This isn’t meant to discourage you but if you’re simply into shifting for self-preservation, you’re going to have some problems. If you’re shifting so that your spouse shifts, you’re going to have problems. If you’re shifting so that you can make that million, you’re going to have problems. If you’re shifting because you have to, then you’re going to have some problems.

The simple truth is that you’re only to follow what your spirit directs you to. That no amount of listening to self-help tapes or watching youtube endlessly will help you get “finished” or “clear” faster than your soul is ready to shift. Your spirit has its own timetable.

Listen in love. Accept that which your spirit knows to be true from a soul level. Be kind and patient with your growth. There is no “one” right way for things to come to pass. Grow in the way that you are meant to grow and not the carbon copy of someone else’s pattern. As in everything else, you are allowed your own opinions; you are allowed your own thoughts. Seek inspiration but do not accept others’ words as the only gospel, endeavor to educate yourself as to the various schools of thought to see what resonates with you.

The path to enlightenment has always been within you, waiting to be stirred. Trust yourself.

 

The Inner Bully

I’ve made the decision that I’m going to have to start embracing my inner bully.

Let me be clear, I don’t like bullies; in fact, I shy away from them. Even though I protest time and time again, my vibrational energy keeps me surrounded by them in one form or another. I’ve become stronger rallying against them, more vigilant in standing up to them all the time hoping upon hope that I’d learn this life lesson and would wake up to a bully-free life. It hasn’t happened to date.

There are many definitions to bully. The classic is the one that we know, as Merriam-Webster puts it “a blustering browbeating person; especially : one habitually cruel to others who are weaker”. This is our most common vision of the bully; the one who picks on those smaller in order to feel better about himself/herself.

Caroline Myss in her book, Sacred Contracts describes it as such, “The archetype of Bully manifests the core truth that the spirit is always stronger than the body. Symbolically our physical bodies can often “bully” our spirits with any number of reasons why we should back down from our challenges, which appear to overwhelm us by their size and shape.” It continues later by saying “Conventional wisdom holds that underneath a bully is a coward trying to keep others from discovering his true identity. Symbolically, the Coward must stand up to being bullied by his own inner fears, which is the path to enlightenment.”

This mirrors my father’s words that a bully is simply a coward dressed up to intimidate so you won’t bother them. Although well-meant my father’s words didn’t ring true to me on the playground, at work or as I grew older in relationships. I still quaked in fear every time I had to face one.

It really boils down to a question of power in my mind.  I tend to confront my relationships and experiences in terms of whether I have the power or it’s on the other side. Oftentimes afraid that I could not stand on my own in terms of trust in myself, my beliefs and my own personal power, I would back down in confrontations. I simply didn’t believe that I could surmount them.

As I grew older and much wiser from experience, I learned how to “handle” certain personality types with ease which only compounded my issue. Since I was adept at side-stepping I was often teamed professionally with people with poor interpersonal skills and worse tempers. I had made my own bed by avoidance. To further make things interesting, at some point, I decided to go into the twilight zone and scream “enough”; I left every bully I knew in the dust as I ran for cover and into the waiting arms of… you guessed it - another brand of bully!

I came to the realization as I was driving home today that I was going to have to do something about it. Since I couldn’t seem to avoid this personality, handling them didn’t work, being afraid was simply not going to do – I was going to have to go after the root of the matter.

I was going to have to face my inner coward that was afraid of being found out. If I did so then perhaps I wouldn’t get sick every time that I couldn’t face something. I would maybe finally heal some wounds that had lasted far too long. My physical body would be unable to persuade my spirit to stop before I advanced too far and it lost the ability to control me.

For the record, I have fears just like everyone else. Although it may be hard for some to believe, people like me just don’t have all the answers. In fact, when it comes to our own lives, we are way too close to the issues and can sometimes get lost in the forest because we cannot identify the trees.

My path to enlightenment has taken a strange yet wonderful turn. I’ve been given the opportunity to revise my previous idea of who I am and work through my archetypes again; this time carefully considering each one and not assuming that I know who I am. This after all is a journey of discovery for me and part of a journey is sometimes studying the map for guidance.

I’m going to stop being my own worst enemy and continue to embrace what makes me most human – my ability to take a wrong turn and discover the most precious thing of all, the unknown.

This print may be found for sale at http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36182073

Staring up at the ceiling....

Sorry I've been lax at adding pretty pictures to my posts lately but sometimes life calls and all I have time for is the post itself.

This photo is what I wish I was staring up at as I formulate my next post.

Photo courtesy of http://curiousgirl-lisa.blogspot.com/

How do I feel?

Your joy factor will remain constant as you are continually refining your ideas of what you want, and that's why it is so important for you to get everybody else out of the equation. They've got their own game going on; they don't understand your game. Give them a break; stop asking them what they think. Start paying attention to how you feel. Joy will be yours immediately, and everything else that you have ever thought would make you happy, will start flowing, seemingly effortlessly, into your experience. --- Abraham Excerpted from the workshop in Asheville, NC on Saturday, October 25th, 2003
 
We all have our own games, even those of us who profess to have no game.
 
Every time I try to comment on this quote, the words fail me. It's as if there is no middle just a beginning and an end to this email. The beginning which is the indication that everyone has their own agenda and then the end which begins the next step in my journey. The middle suddenly doesn't seem to matter as much as it should.
 
I am in the habit of asking people how they feel a lot and not paying attention to how I feel. I am the shephard who takes care of a flock but forgets about shelter for herself. Sometimes I have to just step back and remember that I too need nurturing and comfort. That upon occasion I need to remember that my joy is important too.
 
Today I took a step at creating my own joy by volunteering for a special something which I'll make known to you all soon.
 
shhhh... it's a surprise!

Take a step back to take a step forward

I was quiet for the weekend. It wasn't that I couldn't think of anything to write but rather that finding the time and quiet in which to write was lacking.

There's a degree of mothering that takes place when you have children and spouses that never seems to end. I sometimes wonder if our astral team ever feels the same way after telling us for time #231 about something and we proceed to do it. I mean why? Logic tells us that it doesn't ever work out.Experience (in case you don't listen to logic) has taught us that it only brings worse things into our life. And yet, there we go again!

Insanity can be defined as doing the same thing, in the same way, for the same reasons and expecting a different result. And yet, spiritually we all experience insanity. Unless you are able to shift your perspective everyday is groundhog day as depicted by several Hollywood movies. Everyday you're doing the same thing and still not getting the right result. Every day you try to beat the odds by doing just one thing different, believing that it gives you a get out of jail free card and then fall into a depression the moment it's proven that "your" new solution does not work. You're still in the cycle.

Why don't you try this simple exercise? Step back from the situation and pretend that you are girl in cubicle #4. Now you don't know girl in cubicle #4 but she feels like she has to talk to someone, anyone about her problem. Listen with an open heart as you would a stranger spilling their life story to you. Then look at what the issue is in truth. You have no emotion attached and see what insight you could give her. Don't look for solutions, look only for insight. As you do, you will be changing the energetic flow of things, you will be bringing a different energy to the situation and don't be surprised if things suddenly start popping into your head. Astral teams love random thoughts!

Find a place to nurture yourself tonight whether it be with a good book or a warm cover. Find a place to be at peace and restore what the world has taken out of you today.

Playing the Blame Game

What anyone else has or does not have has nothing to do with you. The only thing that affects your experience is the way you utilize the Non-Physical Energy with your thought. Your abundance or lack of it in your experience has nothing to do with what anybody else is doing or having. It has only to do with your perspective. It has only to do with your offering of thought. If you want your fortunes to shift, you have to begin telling a different story.--Abraham, Excerpted from the book "Money and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Health, Wealth & Happiness"

We as human beings have this nasty little habit of thinking that other people can radically change our fortunes. Many cultures believe that the “evil eye” exists and make talismans to protect wearers from it. Talismans are also made to protect us from curses in all forms and if you travel in certain circles, spells that are cast against us. The truth is that these things gain power from your belief in them. It is your fear which generates the energy requisite for your fortune to change, not anyone else’s.

It’s a huge concept, that other people may do what they want to but that ultimately we are the ones totally responsible for the repercussions in our own life.. The frightening part is that then you really can’t play the blame game or point fingers. Your reaction to the other person’s actions is the key for you and you should not worry or be concerned about anything else.

I’ve heard many people say, “I let it go in love” and yet still continue to vent about the subject. Again, my astral team wishes to point out that truly letting it go means that you don’t think about or mention it. Forgiveness in love means that it’s forgotten and gone from your life. The energy of love must be present in order for the matter to end. Otherwise your words and the emotional response they generate fuel the energy that creates your reality.

With this in mind, begin to shift your outlook from staring at everyone else in judgment and criticism to a journey within. Begin to realize that your negative words about other people or your discussion of their trials and tribulations only affects you. Your emotional response to circumstances only affects you. No one can take your most valuable possession, your personal energy, from you. No one can dictate how you use your energy because simply it’s your choice if you allow someone else that type of power in your life. In the end, it’s all up to you.

The creator of your destiny is you.

The creator of your fortune is you.

The creator of your reality is you.

It’s entirely your choice.

Emotional Requests

Feeling is the language that speaks to the Divine Matrix (the Universe). Feel as though your goal is accomplished and your prayer is already answered. - Gregg Braeden

 I can personally attest to the wisdom that falls within these words. Beyond words, beyond actions, beyond what we can see is what we feel. It is our feelings that fuel the energy that flows from us. 

We can state that we are in the flow and acting hand in hand with the Universe but unless that statement holds absolute truth for us and we believe and therefore signal with our emotions that it is so, than our words are lost within the uncertainty that our soul feels. It is that uncertainty that the Universe reads as being what we wish to have flow towards us and suddenly we are lost within a confusing whirlwind of our own making. It is not a divine power that brings you challenges and hardships but rather your own emotional request. 

At the moment, I am surrounded by a manifestation that is boggling in its immediacy. The energy level moment by moment fuels what is about to happen. If I am angry or deviant, the Universe delivers the situation that requires me to exhibit those emotions. If I am happy and joyous, then the Universe delivers things to celebrate and for which to be grateful. I can be confused all afternoon and the moment I figure out what’s challenging me and let it go, the phone rings and the situation rights itself. The Universe seems to be working with me in a simultaneous manner and it’s a truly awe inspiring experience. The biggest surprise is that the Universe offers riches both spiritually and otherwise that are beyond that which I could imagine. The moment I let go of controlling the outcome by placing expectations on it, the Universe was free to move me in the direction it wanted me to flow. My goals are accomplished without me having to conceive how or when it will happen. 

For all that the Universe gives to me, I am grateful. Within that gratefulness and celebration lay the true joys that my life can hold. Learn to harness the power of your emotions without expectation and shift into your next level of spirituality.

Optimistically Intuitive

It came to me as I was doing a reading the other day that we are to free our minds of the path our journey takes.

The words given to me were “optimistically impulsive”.

We are to tune into our intuition to lead us in never before conceived places and to open our minds and souls to new opportunities without question.

I have to be honest this has always been a leap for me. As a *ahem* Virgo (big surprise), I have a bit of an issue with unplanned trips. I like planning and early on it was identified that the process is more important than the result for me. I like to see how things work rather than the finished product (tangible) or explore the concept rather than examine the findings (intangible).

So for me to find the words “optimistically impulsive” leap from my fingers to the keyboard was extraordinary. What was even more important to me was the fact that I instantaneously understood the concept. I had as Oprah would call it, an “aha” moment.

Flow isn’t about what you plan or conceive; it’s about going with what is presented to you in real time. It’s about spontaneously doing something that you haven’t even thought about or made the usual lists *ahem* of pros and cons in order to decide the best course of action.

It’s about a leap of faith in the Universe that starts you on a journey and somehow because the Universe is the guide, you know it places you exactly where you should be at exactly the right moment.

May you find yourself optimistically impulsive and may it lead you down the path to enlightenment and peace.

What I'm currently working with....

I've been on a Caroline Myss trend lately and I'd like to share the two books that I'm currently working with and on sharing with all of you soon.

Sacred Contracts I've already mentioned once and to be honest, it's a great tool for self discovery. I'll be sharing my understanding on the various archetypes with all of you soon.

I'm also going to start sharing my journey through the Anatomy of the Spirit also by Caroline. It's a great resource for working your way towards shifting.

Fractal time by Greg Braeden is on my list. I loved Greg Braeden's Divine Matrix and am now a believer in this phenomenal man's work. In the upcoming month I'll endeavor to share his view of the Universe and how to works.

Also stay tuned for some Abraham Hicks' wisdom. For those of you not familiar with Abraham, he is channeled by Esther Hicks and is an entity (collective or astral team) who defines the laws of attraction for me as well as the now commonly mentioned vortex.

If you're interested to study up on this, all these people are readily available to you on youtube.

Tuesday's Thought

I'll admit, I almost missed sending out an email today.
 
It wasn't that I didn't have a host of good topics, it was rather about finding the "right" topic. I got caught up in the total energy surrounding what was "best" instead of just allowing the email to flow. I wanted to judge what was being said and no matter what came out, I wasn't satisfied.
 
I didn't love what I was doing today at all. I got caught up in games which I didn't want to play. At times I felt very unheard. I was out of my flow and starting to allow myself to be sucked back in. As the day wore on, I became increasingly aware that I'd been shown a different world, one that I actually wanted to participate in, over the past couple of days. One in which I liked to be. One in which I wasn't so concerned with what people thought or believed because I trusted that the Universe was going to send me the people that I was meant to have around me. I believed that the vortex I was creating was something wonderful and unique and deeply satisfying. I had allowed myself to leave that wonderful state and was currently residing in "re-cycling" land where it's just another shade of the same dysfunctional pattern.
 
So I made a simple decision. I was going to sit down and discuss whatever came into my head and hit "send". I wasn't going to control it or over-analyze it or find fault with it. I was just going to trust that my words would fall on the right ears today. I was going to believe in myself. I was going to love myself enough to do this.
 
Today someone sent me an email that spoke about becoming the embodiment of love. I maybe didn't read the whole email or maybe just it didn't resonate with me but I came away with one key understanding. I cannot become the embodiment of love if it does not come from within. My understanding of love is limited by my ability to love myself because it has to start with me. I am the first piece of the puzzle. As are you and you and you... to infinity.